According to the 'Michigan Daily', the ancient Vedic Men had already reached a very sophisticated level of interpersonal communications. "The Veda is a veritable source of verbal and non-verbal communication skills." commented Miss Manners, a leading authority on such things. "For example, the 'Shashanka Upanishad' devotes an entire Sutra on things like when your ex-wife leaves her present husband, what kind of greeting card is appropriate for the occassion to communicate your feelings. What the Vedas say about 'Aswamedh Maha Yagna' has direct relevance even today, for social skills one needs to attend a backyard barbecue party. Satya Prabhakar might want to know this."

Peter Principle Found In The Vedas!

"Amazing but it is true." said Tom Peters, a Nobel Prize caliber management expert "It is all there in the Sama Veda. in fact, the Western management owes a lot to the Vedas. Why do you think we call them Management 'Guru's and not Management 'Apostles ?" he asked us with a twinkle in his eyes. "And if you don't believe me, all you have to do is just read the latest 'National Enquirer' when you do your grocery shopping next, to find out that even 'Taguchi techniques' are mathematically derived in some hidden slokas and was used extensively for Quality Control when Nuclear bombs were made during the Kurukshetra War."

Relatively Speaking

It is old news to seasoned SCI readers like you that simple Upanishadic verses like 'Asadho maa sadh gamaya' (such as what is found in Virendra Verma's signature file) would lead to direct deduction of Einstein's Special theory of Relativity. Except that the ancients had predicted E = mc to the power 1.998, which is not a bad approximation, you know. Every weatherjock on TV stations know that Shiva's cosmic dance meant exactly the ozone depletion in antarctica, which the Vedics referred to as 'Antara arctikam'.

Vedic Men Were More Boring And More Obnoxious !

Scholars and other SCI types studying the Vedas have unearthed some sensational passages in the Atharva Veda detailing the Top ten excuses for Vedic men to turn down a prospective 'Vedic' date.

(10) I have to create slokas explaining the 'General Theory of Relativity' and 'Quantum Gravity', not tonight, Dave. (short for 'Devi', a la 'Babe' for 'Baby'). Next, I will have to come with signature files for Virendra Verma, Jairaj et al.

(9) I am asymptotically discovering 'Infinity'. Also, gazing at stars to do some Astrology homework. Go away.

(8) I already have a girlfriend from my previous birth.

(7) I am sore from all the Padmasana and yoga.

(6) I am not that kind of a Vedic scholar.

(5) I am trying to find out whether I am Dwivedi or Trivedi or Chaturvedi.

(4) I am celebrating the 100000 th anniversary of the birth of the first Sri Ramapithecus, the ancient man evolved in India.

(3) I am going to fatten the horses for the Yaga.

(2) I am Vedic, I don't believe in post-marital sex.

and the top one is,

(1) I don't go for Desi women. I prefer American women.